Throw Her Overboard
by Loopy777
Summary: For the second Sokkla Saturdays challenge, a series of prompt-inspired shorts detailing a special seagoing mission that Sokka and Azula undertake together. Chief Sokka is trying to show that his tribe is worthy of being on the world stage, but what happens Princess Azula shows up in all her villainous, oblivious glory?
1. Bow

**Bow**

The first problem came up five minutes into the mission, and Sokka was okay with that timing. He had prepared for the ship suddenly springing a leak, the crew getting hit with the fastest and worst case of homesickness in history, a storm magically forming in the sky above to strike the ship with lightning, and an iceberg containing the 'Anti-Avatar' popping up from the ocean depths and smacking against the hull, among other things.

Just about the only thing he wasn't prepared for was Princess Azula walking out onto the ship's main deck and saying, "So, what's our first stop?"

Five minutes into the mission, Princess Azula walked out onto the ship's main deck and said, "So, what's our first stop?"

Standing up at the bow of the junk taking a sighting, Sokka blinked in order to give himself time to think. It sure seemed to be Azula, wearing just a simple black tunic that couldn't have been protecting her at all from the frigid South Pole air. But how could she have gotten aboard his specially commissioned ship? It had been under guard at the docks, and he had looked the whole vessel over before shoving off. Yet he seemed to have a crazy, exiled, crazy, dangerous, racist, crazy, Firebending-capable, crazy enemy of civilization on his ship, and she was _smiling_ , and that meant either she was about to kill the entire crew or she was having visions of dancing bears again. He looked at her across the deck, directly meeting those piercing golden eyes, and found her gaze focused right on him.

She wasn't staring at a dancing bear that wasn't there. In fact, her eyes were steady, steadier than he had seen them in a long time. It was like before Sozin's Comet, when she had some kind of control over her madness.

He wasn't sure if that was good news or bad news.

So he drew he sword and motioned for the rest of the crew to take out their own weapons. "Azula!"

"Yes?" She smiled at him.

"What do you want?"

"To help, of course." She said it like it was the most reasonable thing in the world, and not a set of words that had Sokka looking around for a dancing bear that only he could see.

Having confirmed that there were no prancing ursine interlopers on his ship, Sokka looked back to her. "I'm sorry, could you say that again?"

"I. Am. Here. To. Help." She arched her eyebrows, and finally looked around at all of the Water Tribe warriors standing on the deck pointing knives and swords at her. "Is this a bad time? I wanted to sign up back at the docks, but I thought it likely that I would be attacked by an army if I did so."

Sokka motioned for everyone to stay steady. Violence had yet to happen, and maybe he could keep it that way. "What exactly do you think you'd be helping?"

"The pirate hunt, of course." She motioned to everyone around her. "That's your mission, isn't it? You have a list of areas suffering from pirate activity, and as a goodwill gesture on the part of the Southern Water Tribe, you're leading a mission to hunt down raiders and make the shipping lanes safe for the world again."

Well, if Azula thought that was full extent of their mission, they had one bit of good luck. "Yessssss, that's right. But why-"

"-did I decide to join?" She turned her right hand to examine her nails. "As you _might_ have noticed- although given your behavior sometimes, I really do question your observation skills- I have dedicated my life to aiding my brother and making him a proper Fire Lord."

Sokka took a step forward, and when Azula didn't immediately start setting things on fire, continued walking on a slow approach to her. "I noticed. First you tried to teach him that ruling through fear was better than not being a complete monster. Then you had the whole scheme to convince him that Fire Nation people are genetically superior to everyone else. After that was the intrigue with trying to get yourself appointed head of the Fire Nation's military, as though that would have last more than five minutes even if you had succeeded. Oh, and let's not forget the big thing around you stealing the flowers from the center of the Iblis Vortex because you thought it would restore the Fire Nation's true destiny. After that-"

"Yes, yes, good, you've proven that were paying attention." Azula clapped slowly. "Well, considering the unreasonable way my brother has been reacting to my genuine efforts to help, I thought it might be time for a more indirect strategy. A strong Fire Nation needs powerful but subservient allies, and with the Earth Kingdom constantly looking for an excuse for retaliation, that makes the Southern Water Tribe our most reliable partner. This mission is important to your people, on the stage of world politics, and I intend to see that it's a success." She looked around at all the warriors on the deck, and gave a friendly wave. "Hello, everyone! You all seem very professional. I look forward to working with you."

Sokka was just short of stabbing distance from her now, and held out his sword so that it was pointed directly at her heart. "Azula, I can't let you take command of this ship and go running around looking for enemies to fight."

"Oh, of course not!" She turned back to him, a hint of smirk on her red lips. "I apologize for giving the wrong impression, Chief Sokka." There might have been a glint in her eyes before she dropped to her knees and pressed her head to the deck in a full kowtow. "I am here to serve you. I wish to become a loyal member of your crew."

Sokka blinked.

Azula was _bowing_ to him.

 _Princess_ Kazan Yu _Azula_ was _bowing_ to _him._

This was insane. _She_ was insane!

So Sokka took the only reasonable course open to him.

"Get her," he said.

Five minutes later, Azula was overwhelmed, chained up, tied in a bag, fastened to a spare anchor, and thrown over the side of the ship.

And so the first problem of the mission was solved with surprising quickness and a satisfying splash.

* * *

Hours later, once the junk was past the Iceberg Forest and out on the open sea, Sokka retired to his cabin to make the first entry in his logbook. He opened the door to find Azula sitting at his desk, healthy and dry, writing something in his journal.

Sokka blinked.

"There you are," she said without looking up. "I took the liberty of updating the logbook as soon as we crossed into the Nanpono Seas. Is there anything else you need me to do, or shall I head out to the main deck to take command of the next crew shift?"

Sokka blinked again.

Then he drew his sword. "How did you get back here?"

"Carefully." She sat politely while he aligned the tip of his weapon with her face.

For a long moment, he just looked down blade of his sword at her, running scenarios through his head. Most of them had to do with attacking her, but although he was the deadliest sword in the Southern Water Tribe, he knew she was more than his match. And given the way she had survived her first exit from the ship, she hadn't let her skills soften.

So that left one option. He lowered the sword and shrugged. "If you're going to be a part of this mission, you'll need your own cabin."

She shrugged. "I can make do with a hammock, just like the rest of the crew. I'm not weak."

"Look, I'm not a woman-hating backwards savage like out of Fire Nation propaganda, but there's no way I'm letting you share a berth with a crew of men. Come with me, and I'll find you a room. It might be small, but at least it will be proper."

"Well, if you insist." She stood up and gave a quick bow. "Lead the way, my Chief."

He took her deeper into the ship, where the modern facilities had been installed within the wooden hull, and the homey halls became metal corridors that resonated with the thrumming of the engine. He led Azula down to the bottom level, and opened the door to a room at the end of a particular hall. "Here you go. I think we'll all be more comfortable with you staying here."

She leaned forward to look within, and he shoved hard against her back, shut the heavy door as she stumbled into the cell, and then flipped all five locks. He had some of the crew bring heavy crates full of replacement engine parts and stacked them in front of the door. Then he took the keys for all five locks and threw them overboard. Azula had become a permanent resident of the brig.

* * *

He wished he could say he was surprised when he returned to his cabin after dinner and found her sleeping on his bed.

She didn't so much as twitch when he sat down next to her, nor did she react when he let his sword tumble from his hands to the floor.

"You're not staying in here," was all he said.

She smiled without opening her eyes. "My Chief's word is my law."

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Memory

**Memory**

On the fifth day of their voyage, Sokka checked the ship's current longitude and latitude using a device he had helped a little to invent (if an off-hand and half-joking suggestion that went on to inspire an actual good idea counted) and waved for Kassuq the Lookout's attention. "Send up the flare, and keep a watch on."

No sooner had he finished speaking than Sokka felt a looming presence behind him, and he turned around to find Azula doing the looming, despite the fact that he was a head taller than her. She was wearing one of his shirts over the black tunics she seemed to favor now, and had it tied completely wrong.

"We're rendezvousing with someone." There was no question mark at the end, and Azula didn't seem to be waiting for an answer.

Nevertheless, Sokka provided one with forced cheer in his voice: "Good guess! Considering that you're wanted for crimes against civilization by every nation on the planet, I suggest you go find someplace to hide, like the brig or the bilge or maybe on another ship entirely. Also, why are you wearing my shirt?"

"Oh, this thing? It was so ragged I thought you must have discarded it. I thought wearing blue like the rest of you would help me fit in with this fine crew." She leaned forward and actually batted her eyes at him. "What do you think? Does the color flatter my complexion?"

"Sure." Sokka motioned to her face. "The blue really enhances the corpse-like whiteness of your skin, and the pale gold of your eyes completes the whole 'inhuman monster' vibe."

A grin blossomed on her face, but it wasn't the toothy, bloodthirsty, shark-like kind that she normally showed the world. "Do you know you're easily the most entertaining person with whom I've ever conversed? You always have a reply, never admit defeat, and even aspire to a kind of wit. If only you had something intelligent to say."

Sokka smiled back at her as an idea showed up unannounced at his mind's doorstep and as he welcomed it with open arms and an offer of tea. As Azula noted, he never admitted defeat if he could help it, but he had no problem asking for help.

"Actually," he said as he leaned closer to her, "you might be on to something. We're meeting with a local protection force that asked for our help with some raiders, and they aren't fans of Fire Nation princesses. You should find some more clothes, maybe a hat, too, and pretend to be an unusually pale, soft-cheeked crew member. Just keep your eyes down and don't look at anyone. Then you'll be able join the rest of the crew at the greeting."

Azula stared at him for a moment, all expression leaving her face, and Sokka worried that she had figured him out and was going to explode into lightning or announce that she had Katara captive somewhere as leverage or reveal the ending of 'Voyage to the Heavens' before he could get around to reading the books, but instead she bowed. "My Chief's word is my law."

She trotted off as Kassuq the Lookout called out, "Ship, ho! They're putting up a green flare."

Sokka clapped loudly to get the attention of everyone else on the deck. "Okay, people, we're officially in business. Let's go meet up with the Kyoshi Warriors and see what crazy, life-threatening fun they want our help with."

* * *

Sokka's nervousness about seeing Suki again was mitigated by the relief he felt when he saw that Ty Lee was one of the other two Kyoshi Warriors she was bringing across the plank connecting their ship. Even so, it took an effort to muster a smile as he said, "Welcome aboard. We come to you representing the Southern Water Tribe, answering your call for assistance. Pirates and raiders a specialty."

Suki's own expression looked as strained as Sokka's felt. Apparently, this wasn't going to be fun for either of them. "Men of the Water Tribe, welcome. Thank you for responding to our call. We tracked a group of pirates who have been preying on Kyoshi Island's fishing fleet, capturing the ships that sail furthest out and pressing the crews into slavery."

Sokka nodded, and turned Pukiq the Scribe. "Does that satisfy the official record?"

Pukiq finished writing Suki's explanation and looked up. "Yuppers, Kyoshi Island has officially requested our help in a matter that falls within our mission. We're good to go, Chief."

"Great." Sokka turned back to Suki. "The third person on my left is Azula in one of my shirts and a stupid hat. Could you and Ty Lee get her for me?" He helpfully pointed to the fake crew member in question in case Ty Lee was mixing up her right and left again.

There was a moment of silence, then Azula sighed and Ty Lee sprang forward with fists raised. A few frantic seconds later, Azula hung with her limbs completely nonfunctional from the arms of no less than five Kyoshi Warriors guards. Nevertheless, there was no anger on her face as she said, "I'm sensing hostility."

Suki snorted. "Is she for real?"

"I am being completely genuine," Azula huffed. "What did I ever do to merit such hatred and distr-" She descended into giggling. "No, even I can't make than line work. I understand your skepticism, but I really do want to help. I wish you would see what a useful ally I could be for your cause, but I understand that my past choices may be a bit much to get over at this time. I will therefore submit to whatever punishment or imprisonment you desire for me but I ask-" She turned to Sokka. "No, I _beg_ the one I have accepted as my Chief to allow me to remain on the ship, so that will be available to help when you need me."

Sokka turned to Suki. "So I'm thinking we lock her in _your_ brig."

Suki nodded, her glare never leaving Azula. "Agreed."

Azula rolled her eyes but made no effort to resist.

* * *

They had gone over the details of the Pirates' resources (just a single ship and an abandoned Fire Navy refueling center turned into a makeshift fortress with stolen supplies), came up with a plan for taking the Pirates out, gave orders to their crew, and even recited more lines for the Pukiq the Scribe to record about the goodwill and friendship between Kyoshi Island the Southern Water Tribe.

All that was left was for Sokka and Suki to stand awkwardly alone on the desk of his ship together while waiting for things to be ready.

Suki spoke first. "Remember when we didn't need to wait around like this? It was just the two of us- or the two of us plus the old gang- rushing and solving problems ourselves?"

"Yeah," Sokka smiled at the thoughts of those days, when he didn't have the whole world watching to see if he screwed up and did have a smart and capable woman at his side. He tried to avoid letting his thoughts dwell on that and instead focused on past adventures. "Remember Drak the Fang?"

Suki relaxed out of her stiff posture for the first time since she had come aboard. "That was great! I have to admit that I'm always looking for an opportunity to do that again, but you'd be surprised how few of the local smuggling operations don't keep a refuse pile next to their base that can be turned into a large bomb. Too bad Drak turned out to actually be on our side."

"Well, I had Toph make him a new mansion, so it ended up okay." Sokka let out a breath and sobered. "Can't make those kinds of mistakes now."

Suki snorted. "Since taking the Bedrock Vows, I can't even say that Chin Village makes pretty good fried krukkas, despite all their other faults, without it being taken as a sign that I want to submit to their control again and deny Avatar Kyoshi herself." She looked down at her boots. "I can't be my own person now. I'm sorry."

"I know. I've gotten over it," he half-lied. Time had let him move on from Suki herself, mostly, but he just wished he had something or someone to move on _to._

"Thanks. I'm glad we could at least work together, even if we can't be together."

"Hey, I'm shameless about who I'll ask for help." He winked. "But we have more than enough now to take out these pirates, so I figure our crews will be chowing down on fried krukkas from Chin by nightfall."

* * *

Hours past nightfall, the battle against the pirates was still going on. Suki's ship was sinking even as all the Kyoshi Warriors fought frantically on the deck of Sokka's vessel to help repel boarders from the _three_ pirate steamships that they had found guarding the enemy base, while the Water Tribe men ran around with buckets trying to put out all the fires set by the flaming arrows being shot at them.

The battle was still going on, and it was not going well.

That's when one of the pirate steamships lurched into motion with a suddenness that knocked half of its surprised buccaneer crew over the rail.

Sokka watched as the errant ship plowed on towards the pirate base on the other side of the bay, watched as its surviving crew jumped into the water just before it crashed into dockside fortress, and watched as the it then somehow exploded to destroy the remains of the base.

He didn't have much time to ponder the situation before having to get back to his swordfighting, but he wasn't surprised at all when one of the remaining pirate vessels came under attack from a Firebender in a stolen tug leading a small army of escaped Kyoshi slaves.

The sight of Azula, somehow escaped from Suki's brig before it sank and standing on the deck of the enemy ship with a flaming blue sword in each hand, leading a charge of men and women swinging the chains around their wrists as weapons, was one that Sokka was sure he would never forget no matter how long he lived.

The fighting went on for a while after that, but the outcome was already decided. The pirates eventually surrendered, the Kyoshi Warriors took control of their ships, and the former slaves were unchained and given food and the promise of a quick trip back to Kyoshi Island.

And after it all, Azula came forward to Sokka and Suki, surrendered her swords, and said, "I don't know why you all looked so surprised that everything went according to my plan. I'm here to help, remember?"

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Song

**Song**

Sokka was just unrolling his maps across his desk when the knock came at his cabin door. He hastily arranged the map so that it was just enough off-center to bother people who really cared about things being centered and put on his least sincere smile. "Come in if you're not here to kill me."

"You wanted to see me, my Chief?" The door opened, and Azula stepped inside to deliver a crisp bow. "The exact phrasing given to me was simply that I had five minutes, but I decided to be optimistic and take it as an order to hurry over rather than a warning about an attack."

"Your optimism has paid off, then. I wanted to talk to you about our next mission." Sokka sat down in one of the chairs at the desk and motioned to the other. "Besides, why would I warn you about another attempt to kill you? It's hard enough even when I leave you guessing."

Azula looked at him with an odd expression as she sat down in the offered seat. "Some people have strange concepts about what constitutes 'honor.' So should I expect a trap door to open in a second and dump me in a pit of spikes you've had built into the cargo hold?"

Sokka liked the sound of that one. He was going to have to remember to write it down for later. "Maybe I've gotten tired of wasting my time trying to get you off my ship. You salvaged the mission with the Kyoshi Warriors for us, and I'm gambling that even if you're here to advance a truly nefarious agenda, I can probably get some worthwhile help from you first."

"Really." Azula moved her gaze to the map. "And this wouldn't be a pathetic attempt at reverse psychology, would it?"

"I'm offended you would even accuse me of that."

"Or perhaps you gave Suki or Ty Lee a message when we parted, asking them to get word to the Avatar, and he'll be waiting at the site of our next adventure to deal with me?"

"As a matter of fact," Sokka said, crossing his arms over his chest, "I specifically asked them not to pass on word about you following me around like a lovesick camel-pup."

Azula gave a laugh. "You probably phrased it exactly that way, too."

"Well, I added a few more cuss words to the original request, but these days I try to watch my manners in front of royalty."

The smile left her face, and Sokka found himself under her serious scrutiny. Those gold eyes once again locked onto his, and this time he noticed a little tremor to them that hadn't been there on the first day of their voyage. Was her craziness coming back, or was she merely tired? Or was she showing vulnerability on purpose, manipulating him just as easily as she sprang locks and untied anchors from around her ankle while she sank beneath the cold unforgiving waves?

Then the moment was lost, and Azula once again put on the mask of the pleasant smile. "Then how can I assist you, my Chief?"

Sokka leaned over the map, and pointed to a spot on the Earth Kingdom's southern coast. "While we were resupplying, I got word about poachers operating near this settlement. The locals depend on whale hunts- shark-whales, to be exact- for the resources they use to survive, but a new group has moved in that's harvesting the whales purely for their upper fins, leaving the rest of the carcasses to rot. The locals would normally be happy to sell the fins and use the rest of the whale for their own purposes, but the poachers seem to be operating on a low-cast/high-demand business model and will blow through an entire pod just to get the fins, basically leading to bad overfishing. (Not that whales are technically fish.) It was suggested that our help would be appreciated."

Azula nodded. "I presume no one knows where their base is, or else this would have already blown up into a war."

"Exactly. We hunt them, we tell them off, we wreck their boats, and we drop them off for the locals to deliver their own form of justice."

"If the everything goes well, you mean." Azula folded her hands on the table. "These poachers sound ever so rude, and might be a bit belligerent when we find them. Violently belligerent."

Sokka put his hands to his face in mock surprise. "You don't say! Maybe- and here's a crazy thought- we should get ready for a fight. Just in case." He grinned and stood up. "Come on, let's find you some weapons and armor, so that you don't have to go scrounging again."

Azula stood up as well, her gaze once again analytical. "You're giving me weapons."

"Is that what royalty mainly does? Summarize what other people are saying and then pretend that it's insight?"

She laughed again, and followed him out of the cabin. "Clearly you've been spending too much time with Zuzu. But what I meant was that I'm a Firebender. I'm usually my own weapon."

"Gee, I almost forgot after all those times you tried to set me on fire." It wasn't hard to put the levity and good humor into his voice; his plan was going perfectly, so far. "But we're on an ocean, where it's distressingly easy to get wet, and I'd like you to have a backup form of fighting so that I can keep you nice and safe, my dangerous little asset."

* * *

Some time later, Sokka was back on the deck of the ship, overseeing the hunt for the poachers, when Azula returned to his side with a sheathed dao blade hanging from her hip and wearing some traditional bone armor. Such armor was not as strong as metal, perhaps, but this stuff would float. Sokka turned to find her frowning and staring out over the ocean waves.

He said, "There a problem?"

Azula didn't even glance at him. "Do you hear a sound? Almost like music?"

Ah, that was the issue. "Yeah, that's a whale song. All whale-type animals can make sounds like that. We think they use it to communicate, but there are some interesting theories about how the sound would carry through the water and-"

"Oh, good. I thought I was- well, never mind." Azula stepped forward to lean against the railing. "So there are some of these whale-sharks close by? Are they a threat to the ship?"

Sokka went over to join her. "Yes and no, in that order. There's a pod in that direction- if you look you can see one lifting its tail right now- but they won't attack the ship. That's a mourning song."

"But it's sunset."

"No, not morning, mourning. I mean-" He stopped when he noticed the curve of her lip. "Ha ha, very funny."

"I suppose you're rubbing off on me. So. Why call it a mourning song? I suppose there is a melancholy quality to the tone, but it could just as easily be characterized as a lullaby."

Sokka snorted. In the Fire Nation, they probably did use funeral dirges as lullabies. "I call it that because of empirical evidence. That's the song shark-whales sing when a member of their pod dies. From the sound of it, there are only two whales left in that pod, trying to carry the song on for their lost family. The only thing that will get them to stop for a while is sensing the predator responsible for the deaths. Shark-whales have a very highly refined sense of revenge. I once heard of a shark-whale that followed the wife of its hunter all the way to the other side of the Earth Kingdom. It's a lousy story, though."

"Just like all Water Tribe tales, I imagine." She was silent for a while after that, and Sokka almost got the sense that she was thinking hard about something. Eventually, she said, "I'm surprised at the level of knowledge you, and by extension your tribe, has about the whales. I never realized there was that much sophistication to dumb animals."

Sokka couldn't help laughing. "Says the warlord who's known for playing her human enemies the way a smart hunter plays the animals he hunts? To the smarter spirits, I bet we look like dumb animals, too. More often than I'd like, true, but some of them are unjustifiably arrogant about it, if you ask me."

She finally looked over at him. "Bragging about your adventures with spirits aside, you're saying I treat humans like animals? That's why I'm such a dangerous blight on civilization?"

"Are you kidding?" Sokka snorted, tired of this conversation all of the sudden. He stood up straight again, said as he walked away, "I wouldn't trust you with a polar-bear dog. You just don't get that treats and loyalty are better than beating the animal until it obeys or snaps at you."

Azula didn't follow him.

He hoped he hadn't put the plan in jeopardy.

* * *

When they came upon the bloody cove soiled by the remnants of preparing the massive whale-shark fins for shipment, Sokka was called up to the main deck to find Azula waiting for him with the helmsman. As soon as she saw him, she said, "I have a plan. Lure the poachers out to open seas and make them chase us. I'll destroy them for you without risking a single member of the ship. And don't do the opposite of what I say this time just to be spiteful. I'm really not accounting for it in my plans this time."

Sokka raised his eyebrows. "You know, most loyal subordinates would go, 'Hey, Sokka, you genius you. Here's exactly what my plan entails, and I'm hoping for your educated approval.' Feel free to paraphrase."

Azula's fists clenched, but she forced them open again a second later. "Very well. I want to lure the poachers out to chase us until we reach the mourning whales. You said they can sense their enemies and crave revenge. So we let the animals attack our enemies for us, and then take care of the remnants."

Sokka considered it. It was tactically sound, although Azula was downplaying the risk, what with the required chase and the clean-up battle. Still, she was playing along with his requests so far. If this wasn't reverse psychology on her part, then that meant his plan was going to plan, so to speak.

"Okay, we'll try it your way." He motioned for Pukiq the Scribe and ordered, "Let's announce that these guys are in violation of whatever treaty they're in violation of and demand their surrender." He looked over to the helmsman and added, "Keep us at the mouth of the bay. When they send out their attack ships, take us back to the whale pod we saw. Everyone else, get ready to fish poachers out of the water once the fun begins, and have weapons nearby in case we need to do a boarding action. This should be fun, right? Right!"

Amidst the activity of the preparations, Azula nodded at him with what might have been a bit of respect mixed in with her sarcasm.

* * *

Hours later, with the surviving poachers clasped in chains and being marched to the brig, Sokka made sure to find Azula on the deck and say, "Good job, Princess. You think we can keep this pleasant working relationship going for a while?"

She bowed at the waist. "I am grateful for my Chief's favor."

Whether or not she was serious, Sokka had to smile.

The plan was working perfectly, so far.

If this wasn't all part of _her_ plan, that is.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. Wine

**Wine**

"So, these 'Buzoku Islanders' are- what," Azula said, leaning over the the ship's rail in the dawn light, "some kind of off-brand Water Tribe?"

"Hey!" Sokka crossed his arms over his chest and put on his best indignant glare."Watch you say about other cultures! That was very offensive, not just to the Buzoku Islanders, but also to me and my own people." He left out that the phrase 'off-brand Water Tribe' was exactly what he had thought, too, when he first learned about this latest mission.

Either way, Azula did not seem unduly concerned. In fact, she hardly seemed to be awake. Her posture had none of its normal tenseness, that relaxed tautness where she hid her ability to move at a moment's notice. Likewise, her face was missing its usual condescending sneer, and there was no mockery in her insults. Had she been anyone else, this all simply would have been normal, but it was disturbing in that it was very much not Azula. Was this how she normally was in the early mornings?

She waved a hand at him listlessly. "Very well, have fun meeting your distance cousins. Or whatever they are. My strategic abilities do not seem to be required, so I will remain on the ship. Perhaps I will avail myself of your bed while you're gone."

"Okay, first, if I ever find you in my bed again, I am tipping you out of it. Overboard." Azula didn't react to that, so Sokka continued, "And second, you are now a member of this crew. The entire crew is going ashore to participate in the Brotherhood Ceremony, and so logic dictates that you have come, too. I'd leave you here, maybe locked in the brig again (for a while five minutes), but I don't get to make the rules of logic, I just bow to their mathematical tyranny." Besides, the last thing he wanted was to leave her alone on the ship for hours.

Azula didn't have a rejoinder. Instead, she made a disgusted sound halfway between a lemur squeak and a boar-q-pine snort, and then gave a nod that Sokka decided to take as acquiescence. He added, "Wear your blue clothes and cap," and then went to supervise the approach to the island.

* * *

Hours later, Sokka and his crew stepped ashore on Buzoku Island. They were all lined up in something resembling a military formation, but they carried no weapons, instead offering gifts from some of the other places they had visited during their mission. Sokka had brought samples of rare fruit from the Earth Kingdom's Hu Sin provinces, some golden plunder taken from one of the pirate groups they had routed, sheets of blue furs carried all the way from the South Pole, and an old Pai Sho set.

The Buzoku Chief- a man double Sokka's age and was wearing half as much clothing in the island humidity- stepped forward, standing tall despite his age with his honor guard trailing behind him, and intoned, "Welcome, brothers from the South. We recognize your generosity, and invite you to a parley for the right to sail and hunt in our waters."

Sokka stepped forward and responded, "Oh Chief of the Buzoku, you honor us with your hospitality and other stuff. I humbly accept your offer for parley, and express my confidence that we will quickly forge a mutually beneficial agreement." He looked over at Pukiq the Scribe. "Does that satisfy the formalities?"

Pukiq was hurrying through the last few words, but nodded. "Our delegation is official, Chief."

The Buzoku Chief let out a breath and hunched over until Sokka could see clear over his head. "Good, I hate that ceremonial crud. Come on, young Water Tribe man, let's get down to the 'parley.' My people believe that imbibing spiced Peace Wine is a very proper and spiritual way of cementing friendships, and I happen to be very proud of that bit of our culture."

Sokka grinned. "Sounds good to me. There isn't really anything to negotiate about the passage rights, right?"

"Bah, what do my people care? There's plenty of ocean out there for everyone, and you're Water Tribe, so you know how to behave on other people's waters. And if you stumble across the Pirate King's ships and get rid of them for us, even better."

"Pirate King?" Sokka kept his voice carefully even as he and the Buzoku Chief began walking over to the village. "Who or what is a Pirate King?"

"Meh, your guess is as good as mine. We've had problems with raiders during the war, but those were either navy scavengers from one side or the other, or ships of deserters desperate for supplies and crew. But over the last season we've had real pirate ships landing here, claiming to represent 'The King of the Sixteen Seas,' offering to leave us in peace in exchange for a tribute every moon. So far, they've taken their bribes and left, so we haven't tried to make trouble. But if you just happen to run into them and set their stupid ships on fire..."

Sokka nodded. "I think I can finish that sentence in a satisfying manner. We'll poke around and see what we can find, but I doubt there's a real Pirate King out there, commanding a fleet of ships and trying to accumulate dangerous supplies without any of the major world powers noticing, all for purposes that can only be guessed at but are likely to be highly disruptive. That just sounds crazy."

The other Chief looked over with a sharp expression. "Absolutely. Just crazy talk. Now, let's get wine and make our marks on the official Happy Paper or whatever our scribes like to call it."

* * *

The 'Happy Paper' was indeed completed in short order, leaving Sokka and his crew with nothing to do but join the village's welcoming celebration. They danced, they drank wine, and they chatted with the friendly the locals.

Sokka had spotted Azula- all done up in her 'I'm a clean-faced Water Tribe man just getting over a cold that's why I'm so pale and yes my voice is this high-pitched because I'm only twelve oh look a flying hippo-cow yoink' disguise- hovering on the outskirts of the gathering, so he waved for her attention and then pointed firmly to space immediately to his right. She put her fists on her hips and stomped a foot in response, but he pointed again and gave her his 'Chief Sokka' glare, so she rolled ear eyes and came over to join him.

It was nice to see her lively again, at least, for a definition of 'nice' that mostly meant 'safely predictable.'

Sokka enjoyed a cup of the wine as he worked the crowd, although he limited himself to small sips. The spiced flavor was good, but he was the Chief and so needed to have a clear head. Besides, he wasn't really fond of the way his thoughts slowed when he was drunk. There was a very narrow band of inebriation during which he became a truly visionary inventor, but that was difficult to maintain, and didn't work the same way when it came to leadership skills.

Azula dutifully remained at his side. He introduced her as "my sour-faced cabin boy" whenever someone ambled over to talk, and she safely took the hint to keep quiet and let him do the diplomatting. There was no real trouble until an hour into the festivities, when Sokka caught her raising her own cup of Peace Wine to her closed lips, faking at partaking.

Immediately, his stomach flipped. "Oh no, the wine is poisoned, isn't it?"

She looked at him, looked at her cup, and back at him. "I don't know, is it?"

"Then why aren't you drinking it?"

"I do not drink... wine."

That made no sense to Sokka. "What are you talking about, you've been drinking watered-down wine abroad the ship, just like the rest of us. Either that, or you've been downing contaminated water."

Her face remained blank, and her voice was flat as she said, "I've been drinking the wine on the ship, yes. But this is far too strong for me."

"Strong?" Sokka looked at his own cup. It wasn't that weak rice-wine they drank on some of the Fire Nation islands, but it was hardly going to get a fire princess drop-down drunk. He had seen Zuko knock back stuff that should only be used for cleaning tank treads without even getting a sway in his step. Slush, he had once seen _Ty Lee_ put away enough wine to kill a sky bison, and not only had she survived the experience, she spent a drunken hour after that challenging everyone to fights and winning most of them. (Mai, who did not drink at all because it threw off her aim, had eventually challenged her friend just to shut her up.) "What, you can't handle a little wine with pepper in it?"

Something flickered across Azula's expression. "That's none of your business, snow savage."

Now Sokka's curiosity was truly peaked. Azula was no stranger to barbs and insults, even with this whole 'yes, my Chief' thing she was running, but it was all clearly done in teasing. This 'snow savage' bit, though, was a blatant attempt to infuriate him- which meant she was trying to distract him from his curiosity.

"Azula," he said calmly, "as your Chief, I demand that you tell me why you're not drinking the wine, or else down the whole cup right now."

The expression she turned on him was pure poison, and he could see her eyes tremble with electric intensity. But he had her in a trap, and she knew it. If she refused, she'd ruin whatever scam she had running. And she knew that he knew it.

"Alcohol," she finally bit out, "interferes with a concoction I take regularly."

Sokka found himself squinting. That hadn't been at all what he was expecting. "What kind of concoction?"

Azula averted her gaze from him, looking over the gathering. "It helps me think."

"Yeah, and bit of jerky to chew helps me think, but you're talking about something that sounds like medicine." Then he realized what she really meant. "You mean it helps you think _clearly._ "

She still wasn't looking at him, and he could barely hear her voice over the chatting of the crowd. "When I take the concoction regularly, I can be confident that everything I'm seeing is really there."

Wow. Wow! Azula was treating her craziness. This had world-endangering implications. Sokka immediately began looking around the celebration, identifying which of his crew members were sober enough to launch an attack on her right now. They wouldn't have good odds, not with their weapons back at the ship, but they might have to give it a try anyway. To cover his assessing, Sokka said, "And where are you getting this concoction? You didn't have any luggage when you stowed away on my ship."

Azula's lip quirked in what might have been a smile. "Clearly, you didn't do a very thorough search of your cargo hold after my appearance."

Huh, he hadn't. He'd looked around, of course, but he could hardly break open every single crate. "And what's in this concoction?"

She finally turned to meet his eyes. "I'd love to know that myself. I- I procured it under unique circumstances."

Well. That put a new spin on things. Her supply was _finite_ , and she was choosing to apply it to whatever had brought her aboard his ship. Whatever Azula was doing with this whole ridiculousness- claiming to want to help the mission so that Zuko's Water Tribe allies looked better- was clearly a major gamble for her.

And Sokka had no idea how long she could go before she ran out of her 'concoction.'

Well, that wasn't all bad. It meant there was little point in attacking her now, and he also wouldn't have to string his own plan along too far. That was a relief, because his plan was already precariously balanced, as it were. After all, it consisted of doing nothing but walking willingly into Azula's trap and hoping that his awareness and cooperation would throw her off enough to make a mistake at a critical moment.

He smiled at her, reached over to take the cup from her hands, and sipped from the wine while meeting her guarded, golden gaze. "Perhaps," he said in a whisper, "I'll find myself in a position to help you with your supply problem, sooner or later."

The smirk she turned on him was sharper than a flint blade, so fine he could have lost a finger to it before he even registered the pain. "I knew I could count on my Chief."

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	5. Lips

**Lips**

Sokka looked down at his map- not one of his more technical navigation maps, but a beautiful, highly detailed layout of the whole ocean between the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom with rainbows and sea monsters drawn in appropriate places- and frowned.

He had just painted a little X on the map right on the depiction of the Buzoku Islands cluster, but as he stared at it, the mark failed to magically align with all the other X's to reveal dark secrets and/or tell any kind of useful story. In fact, the lack of a story was the only story being told: whoever this 'Pirate King of the Sixteen Seas' was, the incidents attributed to his organization were spread out across a distressingly large chunk of ocean and showed no pattern.

This wasn't unforeseen. That's why such an open-ended cover mission had been concocted, to give Sokka and his crew the freedom to tool around and chase clues for as long as they needed. The proper thing to do would be to continue on this Southern Water Tribe 'goodwill pirate-hunting tour,' improving the general state of humanity and picking up clues and news where he could find them. He should wait until he had real, actionable intelligence before doing something stupid. Or, ideally, not do anything stupid at all.

Except his instincts were telling him that something was wrong, and he needed to pick up the pace. This so-called King's vassal ships weren't shy about mentioning him, and he had to know that. So he likely had a good idea of what his enemies knew about those operations. And if he knew that, and Sokka and his friends knew that, and the King knew that they knew that, then wasn't the only smart conclusion that a misinformation campaign was in full swing and no one knew as much as they thought they knew?

The only way to break the cycle was to do something unexpected.

Something stupid.

Sokka sighed, rolled up his map, and took it with him down to the crew berths.

The large cabin he went to was noisy with the snores of the sleeping crew shift, and when Sokka found Azula's hammock, she proved to be a lone silent sleeper. She was curled up in the center of the hammock in something like a fetal position, limbs tucked protectively with her sweaty, unbound hair splayed over her like a blanket. Her lips were moving as she slumbered, pursing ineffectively at the strands of hair that tickled them.

Sokka took the rolled-up map and poked her in the face.

Her eyes flew open instantly, and there was no involuntary shudder or start. Her only movement was to shift her head just enough to glare up at him, piercing golden gaze asking him wordlessly why he had woken her up and whether it was something for which he was prepared to die a horrible wracking death.

He poked her again and motioned for her to get up and come with him.

Sokka maintained the silence until they got back to his cabin, and then he spread the map down on his desk again and clapped his hands in time with a cheery Water Tribe dancing tune Azula wouldn't know. "Good morning, Princess! So kind of you to join me!"

The expression she gave him through her tangled hair was distinctly unimpressed, but after a short yawn she managed, "I am at my Chief's command all hours of the day. How might I pleasure you?"

"Look at this map."

"This is a nice one. Can I have it?"

"Only after I'm done with it. So, never. Anyway, look at the marks I made. Anything stand out to you?"

She pulled her hair out of her face and twisted it into a knotted ponytail, all without ever taking her eyes off the map. "We've been to some of these places. Those marks are more recent. The others, the older marks, are all either near the places we've visited or along our planned routes."

Slush, she was good. "You can go ahead and say what I know you've already figured out. No need to be embarrassed, we're all friends here."

She looked up at him, something like a smirk pulling at her lips. "You're looking for something. You've been looking all this time."

He nodded. "Do you have any opinions on how I might find what I'm looking for?"

"My opinion is that it would be easier to help if I knew what exactly you want to find." She took a step forward, closing the distance between them. "But you would have already revealed that if you trusted me. Even after all this, we're still playing games. Such _fun_ games, too."

He walked straight past her, giving her ponytail a little swat as he did so. "Yeah, sure, fun. Have you been keeping score? How many have I won?"

"It's cute that you think you've won anything." She sat down at the desk and began studying the map. "Give me something to write with. Something temporary."

Sokka found a piece of charcoal amidst his supplies, and tossed it over to her. Then he went to stand over her shoulder and watch the magic happen.

She started drawing circles around some the marks on the map, and then made little triangle symbols next to a few islands that fell within the circles. Sokka recognized all those islands; they were larger ports, well-known stops where honest sailors could pick up supplies, sell off smaller cargos, and enjoy a little shore leave. He found himself nodding at her logic; even pirates needed a chance to live like everyone else, and it made sense that they'd make use of facilities within an reasonable voyage's range of their targets.

Sadly, Azula had made too many marks to just investigate all her targets, but perhaps with this strategy in mind, he could look over all the rumors about the Pirate King's forces again and see if anything new jumped out at him like a bear-dog pup happy to see its master, and not like a desperate mugger in an alley demanding to be gifted with all your coins.

"Good work," he said. "You can go back to that wonderful dream you were having about burning the whole world and rubbing the ashes of your enemies all over your skin in a really creepy way."

She actually snorted at that as she got up from the desk. "If you must know, it was the dream about falling off The Great Drill of Ba Sing Se again, but either way, it's not long until my shift. I may as well stay up and get in a little more Firebending practice. You never know when I may have to kill an entire army for you." She reached for her belt and produced a little glass vial of a clear liquid. Walking out of his cabin, she popped the cork off and downed the contents.

That's when Sokka grabbed her shoulder, pulled her into his arms, and kissed her so hard they fell on top of the desk together.

When he finally pulled back, he found her eyes wide and her cheeks as red as a three-day Fire Nation festival. She sputtered for a bit before being able to stammer, "Wh- what w- what was-"

Sokka licked his lips and stood up. "That was your concoction, right? The one that helps you think clearly? Interesting taste it has. Salty, almost metallic. And also slightly sweet, as if a fruit extract was added to try to cover up the flavor. That's to make it harder to figure out the ingredients, right?" He looked back, keeping his expression innocent.

She stared up at him from the desk, making no move to get up. Her hair hand come unbound at some point during his little attack, and while her expression had settled into passivity, her face was still flushed. "You could have just asked to lick the bottle."

"I know. But that's what you were expecting me to do, after baiting me by taking your medicine right in front of me. I'd hate to become so predictable that you'd get bored with me."

She smiled, a _real_ smile and not a smirk or a twist of the lips or anything coy like that. "Never, my Chief."

"Great. Now please get your butt off my nice map."

* * *

A few days later, they pulled into the port on Three Quarters Way Island (renamed from 'One Quarter Way Island' after it had been conquered by the Fire Nation 83 years ago) to resupply and give the crew another chance to spend some time off their ship. As Captain, Sokka was acting as the purchasing agent, seeking out the supplies they needed and negotiating for price and delivery and all that boring stuff. And, because his handwriting was commonly mistaken for the unholy runes of a death cult, he brought along his sour-faced, smooth-cheeked, golden-eyed 'cabin boy' to fill out any paperwork. Pussiq the Scribe was far too important to write down that kind of mundane financial information, and besides, he'd been on duty for Buzoku Island, so he hadn't been able to get as drunk as everyone else. Fair was fair.

That Three Quarters Way Island happened to be one of the places circled by Azula on his map was never spoken aloud, nor was the fact that some of the unique treasures stolen by one of the Pirate King's ships was later sold by a certain barterer who Sokka had recently discovered was now operating here under a new name.

And so Sokka the Purchasing Agent just happened to be moving all over the port, looking at the docked ships to see if they were unloading any cargo he wanted to buy, and asking around about various unique items that would make great diplomatic gifts and maybe I don't know pirate plunder fit for a King. His 'cabin boy' kept a sharp eye out, too, of course.

Even so, he wasn't prepared when she nodded at one of the ships bobbing next to the docks and said, "That one is the 'Zhao's Revenge.' You know, the ship that raided Nagisa City?"

Sokka found himself looking at the ship and dismissing the notion because the reports said Zhao's Revenge was supposed to have a dragon figurehead and this one was a Jingwei bird, but then he remembered that Azula wasn't supposed to know about any of that. "So, you broke into my cabin to see what else I was keeping from you?"

She gave his shoulder a comforting pat. "It was rather remarkable of you to actually hide those papers from my earlier explorations, but once you revealed a map I had never seen before, the natural conclusion was that there was more to be found. My compliments on the design of the secret compartment."

"Thanks." It _was_ a rather ingenious design, wasn't it? The keyhole looked exactly like the mark made when he threw his boomerang into the woodwork, and his boomerang happened to be the only key that could reach the secret switch. "You understand that I need to kill you now?"

She licked her lips in a way that was the complete opposite of fear. "We'll duel to the death after we find your pirates. Or rather, after we find more of your pirates. That ship is the Zhao's Revenge, but it's been repainted and disguised."

Sokka looked back at the ship in question. It was certainly built for a fight; he could picture it bearing down on an innocent cargo vessel with black flags flying and archers ready at the rails, sails puffed out by the wind.

Lost in his thoughts, he forgot to add any kind of sarcasm or baiting when he told Azula, "Good work. Thanks."

* * *

When the Zhao's Revenge left port the next day, Sokka's own ship very coincidentally set sail in, coincidences of coincidences, the same direction. Of course, Sokka made sure his crew kept them back at a considerable distance, beyond the sight of anything but a proper telescope.

Everything was going well until Kassuq the lookout took his spyglass off the Zhao's Revenge for a moment to look behind, and found three more vessels following them in turn.

"Well," Sokka said, licking his lips when the news was brought to him, "I guess we weren't as clever as we thought. Let's get the weapons distributed, and if anyone onboard still likes to hope for lucky breaks, feel free."

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	6. Reveal

**Reveal**

After a lot of agonizing, Sokka decided that the speech he had to give to the crew should be an apology. He stood beside the ship's steering wheel and looked out across all the Southern Water Tribe men assembled on the deck. "Okay, guys. For anyone who hasn't heard the details of why you've all been given weapons and warned about imminent death, we kind of have three enemy warships following us. I'm sorry about that. I thought we could follow the Zhao's Revenge to get some new information about the Pirate King, but it looks like I sort of got us killed instead. That is totally my bad."

For a long moment, the only reply was silence, but then Pukiq the Scribe raised a fist and shouted, "We won't let those pirates take us down! We're men of the Southern Water Tribe, and we have the cleverest captain on the high seas!" Roars of approval followed the pronouncement, along with a chorus of, "Yeah!" and "Right on!" and even one "The fire witch will be a big help, too!"

Sokka had to wipe a single, manly tear from one eye. (His left eye. He should probably have a healer look into why that one tended to tear up more often than his right eye.) This was a good crew. As a pessimist, he was still sure that they were all going to die horrible bloody deaths far from home and no one would ever know their fate, but he appreciated their positive outlook.

He turned to Azula, who was standing just behind him. He gave her a smile that was equal parts confident and mournful and said, "Well? Do you think we can win?"

She stared back at him with a blank expression. "No. I agree with you. You're all going to die if you fight. So let's make this easy- surrender to me now, bring the ship to a stop for a boarding action, and give up your weapons. I will tell my pirates to take you prisoner instead of slaughtering you where they find you."

Sokka almost laughed before he realized that this exact possibility was one he had been dreading ever since Azula revealed herself. "You're- you're not joking, are you?"

Instead of answering, she leaped into the air, kicking out with such force that she spun in the sky. Blue flames flew out from her foot to spray all over the main deck of the ship, and the crew gave cries of surprise and terror as they shrank back from heat and noise. Sokka looked around frantically, trying to assess the possible damage, and found everything around him on fire.

His ship was burning in the middle of the ocean!

No, wait-

It _wasn't_ burning.

It just _looked_ like it. The flames sat on top of the ropes and wooden surfaces without actually consuming anything.

Sokka turned back to Azula, and saw her crouched in a defensive stance, he face tight with concentration. She didn't look at him as she said, "Distract me at all, and everything will burn. Kill me or knock me unconscious, and the flames will be free to consume what they can. Surrender without bothering me, and I will withdraw my fire once the pirates arrive." Then she raised her eyes to meet Sokka's gaze, and her lips almost curved into something resembling a smile. "And you will bow before me, _my Chief._ Put your forehead to the deck and acknowledge the princess who has bested you."

Sokka would have been more than happy to tackle her over the side of the ship and let it burn while he dragged her down to Sedna's Depths, if just to spare the rest of the world her menace, but he was captain on this mission- a Chief of the Southern Water Tribe- and he had a crew to think about. He would gladly humiliate himself to save them.

Besides, he had a feeling Azula wouldn't go down that easily.

Besides, he reflected as he sank to his knees and kowtowed to Azula, this was technically all going according to his plan. He wanted more information on the Pirate King's organization, and he had also decided that the best way to deal with Azula was to play along with her own intrigues until he figured out what was going on. So far, this was exactly what he wanted, since he had forgotten to make 'Stay Alive' and "Don't Get Captured' major priorities. Next time, he'd definitely correct that.

Sokka remained kowtowing, Azula remained on the defensive, and the flames remained flamin' as the pirate ships arrived. Azula didn't douse the fire until the pirates had clasped the crew in chains, and then Sokka watched as she relaxed and accepted the pirate captain's bow with easy familiarity.

* * *

It was a week's journey, which Sokka spent as a prisoner in the cargo hold of his own ship while a pirate prize crew managed the voyage, before he arrived at the Island of the Pirate King. He was dragged out on deck after they had docked, and Azula herself was on hand to lead him and his crew ashore.

He couldn't help but notice that though she stood solidly, her eyes had a tremble to them that she wasn't quite able to hide.

Moving his gaze before she could notice the scrutiny, Sokka looked out at their destination as pirate guards pushed down the boarding ramp. He had to admit at being impressed by the size of the island, which was like a tropical little brother to Kyoshi Island with a similar peak at the center, although this little mountain was blindingly white despite a complete lack of snow. As he got a closer look at the settlement while being led through the streets, he found he wasn't so much impressed with the massive slave labor force busy constructing what seemed to be fortress city right there on the coast. The castle at the center of the growing settlement turned out to be fully completed, done in the tasteful new 'Wooooo I Made So Much Money Off The End Of The War' style that was so popular these days. And, of course, the palace had a great view of a natural bay where various warships were being serviced. All in all, it was the kind of hideaway that every megalomaniac aspired to own in today's economy.

Azula led Sokka into the castle like she had been here before.

He wasn't sure if he should be more depressed that he had failed to spot her betrayal before it happened, or that she had apparently built herself a small island nation without anyone in the world noticing.

He was almost relieved when she brought him into the palace's throne room and he saw an older man in a Fire Navy uniform sitting on the throne itself.

Sokka recognized the Navy man from various visits to Zuko. "Admiral Kaizoku," he gasped, relaxing in his chains for the first time in a week. "Zuko is going to be _so_ disappointed in you. Or did you resign from his council since the last time I spoke to him?"

Admiral Kaizoku wrinkled his nose in disgust. "No, I'm still serving the Fire Lord. As much as my little pirate kingdom here is worth, the pension I stand to earn is no joke, either. Does he offer the same to you for dong his dirty work, or do the Fire Lord's snow savage pets work for free?"

"Even better." Sokka gave a grin that he didn't feel. "Whenever I'm in the palace, the kitchens have a standing offer to give me as much food as I want. Where I come from, that makes me a friend, not a pet."

"Ah." Kaizoku looked over at where Azula was standing, but when she didn't react, he shrugged and turned back to Sokka. "Well, the Royal Fire Chefs will be glad for the break I'm going to be giving them, I'm sure. I would kill you now, but there's no reason to be hasty, is there? You and your crew are trapped here, and I can always execute you all later when I'm sure that there won't be any inquiries that could lead to me. I'm sure you understand how delicate it can be, running a criminal enterprise that I'm technically being paid to stop."

"Oh, sure, no problem, cover your butt by keeping me alive for as long as you like." Sokka took a look at Azula himself, but her expression didn't so much as flicker. She just remained standing at attention beside the room's entrance, acting for the all the world like a guard. "But there's one thing I don't understand. Why are you working for Azula? You have to know this is all just going to end with another one of those overly dramatic Royal Fire Sibling Confrontations. Azula's followers never end up in a good place after her schemes."

Admiral Kaizoku's eyebrows rose. He finally stood up from his throne with a smile. "You think _I'm_ working for _her?_ Well, a demonstration is in order, then. Princess, how are you on your supply?"

Azula's face twitched. "I took the last one yesterday. You didn't send any more doses with the ships I signaled for the ambush."

"Quite true, quite true. Then if you want a refreshed supply, you will let me administer a dose now, yes?" Kaizoku reached into his belt, and produced one of the little bottles that Sokka had seen Azula drinking from. Kaizoku uncorked it and held it out to her.

Azula came over and reached for it just as Kaizoku upended the bottle onto the tiled floor.

She froze.

Kaizoku's smile grew uglier. "Take your medicine, Princess. You know how you get when you run out. Unless you've found another source?"

The glare Azula turned on the man was murderous, but nevertheless she got down on her hands and knees and bent her head towards the puddle.

Sokka purposefully averted his eyes at that point. He had no good feelings for Azula at this point, but he couldn't take any pleasure in seeing that kind of humiliation in action. Making her wear a stupid hat would have been one thing, but purposefully treating a person like an animal- any person- just turned Sokka's stomach. He wouldn't have even made Momo eat something off the floor (even though the lemur was more than happy to chomp on any bugs he found crawling around). It was just common courtesy.

When Azula got back up, Kaizoku seemed to have decided that the demonstration was complete. "Take the snow savage away," he said.

"Wait!"

All heads turned at Azula's outburst.

While Sokka was held in place by the pirate guards, Azula stalked over to him. There was murder in her glare, and he figured he had about three seconds to come up with some kind of witty last words before proceeded to give him a scar to match Zuko's. He opened his mouth to say something about he was 'burning' to be done with her-

-and then she shoved her face against his and gave him the fiercest, most clumsy kiss he had ever experienced.

Sokka was trying to fight off her tongue as she wrapped her arms around his body and pressed herself against him, making him stumble backwards out of the guards' grasp. He would have tried taking advantage of that to make a run for it, but Azula entwined her left leg around his, locking him in place. All he could do was endure the kiss and try to make his oxygen last.

She was a very unpracticed kisser, there was no doubt, but he couldn't fault her enthusiasm. He felt his face burning when she finally brought things to a finish, stepped away, and then shoved a knee into his stomach with enough force to double him over.

"Payback," she said as Sokka gasped and the pirates laughed, "for your presumptions."

He could only slump in the pirates' arms as he was dragged away, and it wasn't until he was locked by himself in a cell (a surprisingly dank and gloomy one for such a recent construction job) that he realized he could taste her medicine all over the inside of his mouth. It was the same strange mix of sweetness and water and maybe a little pepper but more than anything Sokka found himself focusing the salty, metallic aspect as his thoughts turned to the gleaming white mountain he had seen at the island's center.

Ah.

That night, he was kept awake by the sounds of screaming and battle and thunder.

* * *

The next morning, a pirate guard came to retrieve Sokka, unlocking his chains and bringing him back to the throne room. He found Azula seated on the throne itself, just beneath a massive smear of soot that she didn't seem to bother her any.

Admiral Kaizoku, this time, was seated on the floor with his back serving as Azula's footstool. When he saw Sokka, his grimace intensified, and he said, "You're not going to get away with this. Any of you! Azula will go mad and then all of you will die!"

Azula smiled confidently, but Sokka could see that her eyes were trembling once again. She looked straight at him, unconcerned with the ranting admiral beneath her boots. "Well," she said in a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper, "have you figured it out?"

Sokka nodded. "After a taste like that, how could I not?"

"So, how shall we proceed, _my Chief?_ Shall I start by threatening you? Or perhaps your crew? Or maybe I should go ahead and promise the deaths of your family and friends if you don't tell me exactly what's in the medicine I need to stay sane?"

"None of the above." Sokka put his hands on his hips and grinned. "I'm the one really in charge, here. And I think I have a much better idea."

 **TO BE CONCLUDED**


	7. Crown

**Crown**

There was a long, quiet moment following Sokka's pronouncement, and then Azula gave a laugh about as genuine as anything else she had done in the last month. " _You're_ in charge? I fail to see how. I command the Pirates, now. I'm the one taking over Admiral Kaizoku's spy network. I'm the one with the cleverly-worded threats of violence. As soon as my new minions are done melting down and casting the gold, I'm even going to have an adorable little crown. What do you have?"

Sokka smiled back at her, not feeling intimidated in the least. Azula had made one major mistake- she failed to learn enough about him to predict his actions. But then, that was a mistake a lot of people had made. He prided himself on his unpredictability, even if that made his dating life a disaster. "I have the information you need. Yes, you can threaten the people I love like family, and probably make good on those threats. You can torture me until I scream what you want to hear- and don't pretend you haven't been fantasizing about my screams, you bloody-thirsty tyrant, you- and the rest of the world will never know my fate. But there's an angle here you haven't seen yet. An angle I don't think you _can_ see. I'm about to teach you a new way of fighting."

He didn't miss the way she licked her lips at his words. "I'm going to be ever so disappointed if this is just a trick."

"It's not. My super-secret, extra special, satisfaction-guaranteed strategy is-" Here he paused. It really wasn't a trick, but slush it, despite his words there was a very real danger that he was about to get himself killed, and he'd never be able to face his ancestors if he didn't at least have some fun with it and go for maximum drama. Just as Azula opened her mouth to say something, he continued, "-to not fight you at all. The main ingredient in the concoction is the salt that makes up all the rock on this island's big mountain. Super-saturate some water with it, and adjust the dosage based on results."

The throne room was silent.

Admiral Kaizoku turned out to be the first one to speak. "That's not it at all," he mumbled with obvious haste from his position on the floor as Azula's footstool. "The snow savage is trying to trick you. Only _I_ know the true ingredients, and I-"

He was cut off when Azula stood up and kicked him in the head. He rolled over, unconscious.

She stared at Sokka for a good long while, no expression on her face. "Salts?"

He nodded. "There are legends from the Earth Kingdom, of the salts of certain sacred mountains being cures for curses. Of course, what was considered a curse back in the old days would probably be a mental sickness now, unless we're talking about the curse of having a bossy little sister and it just occurred to me that you might take that the wrong way so rest assured that I'm only talking about Katara and please don't kill me before I'm done talking. _Anyway_ , maybe those mountains were only sacred because their composition had elements that act as medicine." A new thought occurred to him. "Or I guess they don't have to be mutually exclusive. Maybe a spirit or an Avatar or something made those mountains that way for that specific reason. I guess it's a kind of a pig-chicken-or-egg scenario."

Azula blinked, and gave a shark of her head. "Never mind that! You're- you're just going to tell me." The way she said those words made it sound like she wasn't sure if they were supposed to be a question.

He shrugged. "I give control of your mental health back to you. Didn't I tell you about how to treat people? I'm not going to try to blackmail you with the threat of letting you go crazy. That's just rude, and my Gran-Gran taught me better than that." He folded his arms across his chest and added, "Since I know you were raised by a monster, I'm just going to give you a tip and note that this is where you're supposed to say 'thank you' or an appropriate equivalent."

"Ah!" Her eyes lit up, and a smirk returned to her face. "You expect me to reward you with your freedom, now. You're a manipulator, too."

"No. I honestly don't trust you far enough to believe that freeing me wouldn't be part of your own plans. I really mean that you should say the words 'thank' and 'you' in that order." He waited for about a minute before he amended, "But I suppose you can always send me a note, instead."

Azula started pacing, walking back and forth across the throne room without ever taking her eyes off of him. The expression on her face made it seem like she was dealing with a threat of unknown significance, a machine with a purpose she couldn't discern but might very well blow up in her face at any moment. Eventually, she nodded to herself and came to a stop right in front of him. "So what do you expect of me? You said you don't trust me, but I know you too well. There's no chance you didn't run through all the various outcomes you're capable of imagining."

Well, since she was asking nicely. "I expect you to be rational. That was the whole point of all of this, wasn't it? You worked for the so-called Pirate King because he had the medicine you needed to think clearly. Thus, you must value your ability to think clearly over your pride and even your dignity. You betrayed him because you knew you were trapped in his power and he'd dispose of you as soon as you were no longer useful. You gambled on me being able to figure the concoction out, because you learned that I'm capable of being a genius like that."

Azula gave a little snort and quickly covered her mouth with her hands.

Sokka couldn't figure out what was so funny. "What?"

Behind her hand, she actually giggled.

Azula had just _giggled_ at him.

Sokka felt like a great doom was descending on the world. "What?"

She lowered her hand, and he suddenly realized that he had never before seen her so openly, vulnerably amused before. "You're right about everything but the last part. I don't know if you're a genius, but if there's something I learned by working with you, living with you, stealing time in your bed, escaping from your insultingly straight-forward traps, and kissing you, it's that you've probably eaten a greater variety of edible junk than anyone else alive. Of course you'd recognize the ingredients by taste!"

Sokka blinked.

Sokka blinked again.

Finally, he grinned. "My mistake, then. I'm glad you could make good use of all my tongue-based experiences."

She rolled her eyes and stalked back to her throne. "Flirting with me isn't going to keep you alive, although I commend your taste in women. What is going to get you out of here with all your skin where it's supposed to be is your value as a messenger." Azula sat back down and motioned to the windows on the far end of the room, through which Admiral Kaizoku's half-constructed fortress city was visible.

She continued, "It seems that I have inherited a number of slaves I don't need, and since my brother and the Avatar cared enough about the Pirate King's activities to send you out, then I think the peaceful return of those people is worth a truce with me. If you can convince them to recognize my rule of this unclaimed island and allow anyone who wishes to come here willingly to stay, then I will release the slaves unharmed. Cross me, and I will bathe in their blood before setting out on a campaign to destroy everything you all hold dear." She sat down, crossed her legs, and winked. "I've seen your diplomatic skills at work, and I don't think this too far beyond your abilities."

"How very rational of you."

"Indeed. And since the only value your tongue could possibly provide to me at this point is as my mouthpiece, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't leave immediately."

"Immediately? You mean-" And then Azula gave a motion, and Sokka was grabbed by the pirate guards behind him and yanked out of the throne room.

* * *

Fortunately, they didn't just throw him in the bay and tell him to swim back home. He was instead thrown on the deck of his ship, laughed at, told to get things ready while the rest of his crew was brought over, and put under watch of some easily amused, over-ripe guards.

That was fine. He didn't mind being laughed at, and getting the rigging ready left his mind free to ponder Azula's newest angle. She was probably telling the truth about wanting to get rid of the slaves, since they were one of the reasons that the Pirate King had become such a high-priority target in the first place. And she couldn't fight off a dedicated task force from the Fire Navy, never mind if the rest of the world decided to help Zuko out.

So a truce was her only worthwhile option, and she could always go back to being awful after she built up her strength here, or even just found another good gig somewhere. If she did intend to keep this island, it clearly wasn't self-sustaining, so she'd need the opportunity to set up a food supply under her full control. She might be doing nothing more than exchanging burdensome hostages for a plan to make herself immune to a siege.

And that was only if she taking the most obvious path back to being a nuisance. She could be coming up with plans within plans, strategies taking advantage of factors that Sokka had no idea were in play.

That's why he was being good and doing as he was told. Playing along had worked out so far. He had found Azula, nailed her down to a single geographical location, and eliminated an additional threat in the form of Admiral Kaizoku. For people who believed in victory, that wasn't so great, but Sokka preferred to think of his job as shifting the state of the world into steadily more manageable states.

Besides, he was getting his crew out of this alive. That was a pretty big win.

* * *

Several hours later, the ship was all set up, his crew was back where they belonged (complaints about missing personal effects that had probably be stolen aside), and Sokka was ready to set sail as Chief and Captain again.

Azula saw him off. She came to the dock surrounded by an honor guard of pirates who almost managed something like a proper formation, wearing a crown of gold and some kind of dull jewels at the points.

When she got close, he could see that they were raw salt crystals.

Heh.

He bowed to her and asked, "Your piratical highness, may I request permission to embark on my mission?"

She snorted. "Yes, you may, and to answer the question that should follow it, yes, have the permission."

"Very well. Until next time, then." He turned to walk back up the ramp to his ship, but her hand clamped down on his shoulder and he was spun back around. Before he could try to go for the weapon he didn't have, Azula face was right next to his, and her lips _almost_ brushed against his own.

Oh.

She moved to whisper in his ear, "Fail in your mission, and our next kiss will set your tongue on fire. Succeed, and maybe we'll have the opportunity to talk some more. I enjoy our little talks, don't you? I wonder what else we could enjoy" Then she shoved him away and spun on her heel to march back to her stolen palace. There was a little saunter to her retreat and much more hip-motion than she usually bothered with, but it was far from the gracefulness of an experienced seductress. Still, Sokka supposed she deserved some points for trying.

After he hurried up the ramp, he found his whole crew staring at him. "Just a little risk management, boys. Now, are we heading home, or did you all want to petition for your own threatening kisses?"

* * *

Later, Kassuq the Lookout came to report that there was still no pursuit sighted. "We seem to be in the clear, Chief."

Sokka could only chuckle. "Yeah, it probably looks that way. You guys and the ship are probably fine, but she's got me boxed in perfectly. No one will ever trust her, but people trust me, and once they hear the whole story about this, they'll believe I can keep an eye on her and maybe even contain her. I'm going to be playing diplomat to a Firebending Pirate Queen for a long, long time."

Kassuq gave a slow nod. "I expect you're right, Chief. But if it helps, I believe you're up to it. All the boys do."

"Thanks." Sokka sighed and leaned onto the railing. "Keep a lookout. I wouldn't put it past her to have sent a ship out ahead of us, to shadow our course and maybe try something 'entertaining.' Take some jerky with you."

"Sure, Chief!"

As his lookout hurried off, Sokka looked out across the deep blue oceans. He couldn't help but feel that it was a shame he was still dealing with Azula's possible manipulations without the pleasure of her witty company.

"Oh, slush," he said. "Great, now I'm _missing_ her."

Well, he'd see her again. And maybe he'd even survive the encounter.

 **END**


End file.
